Misquoted

Seems I may have misquoted Tyler regarding the flushing/not flushing incident. I was retelling the story to Ron at dinner tonight when Tyler finished my story by saying, "I wanted to see how you liked it!" Ron thought the story was pretty funny. Tyler thought he was pretty funny, too. He's just like his Daddy - he's his own biggest fan.

I met with Tyler's preschool teacher for a pre-preschool conference. She was having individual meetings with all the parents. I had to bring both kids to the meeting since it was in the middle of the day & Ron was still out of town. The kids played nicely but were pestered by the flies that somehow found their way in the room. A couple times my kids each said, "Shoo fly! Don't bother me!" As we were talking, his teacher commented a couple times about how funny Tyler was. I think her exact quote once was "He's a hoot!" We'll see if she's still hootin' in a few weeks. All I'll say about the meeting is that I hope my first impression is wrong or it could be a very long year.

Much to the kids' delight, we finally dug the paint back out today. Everything paint related has been put away for the past 4 (almost 5) months. It was a nice way to pass the afternoon. (Note the big, red bandaid.)

This has nothing to do with the kids, but I found it interesting: I have averaged at least one hit per day on my blog by people doing a google search (or similar) for "Barbie Tanner poop" since I posted that blog about Danielle's birthday present. I have had 4 different hits just today! Most of the hits have been from people in other countries. I guess other people are a little wiser about researching this gift before suggesting it! When I was at the store the other day, I noticed they also have a Barbie with a cat...that pees!!! (Please don't get any ideas. I will return it!)

Flushes, Bandaids, & Bugs

Like every other normal person in the world, Tyler had to use the bathroom after he woke up this morning. He chose to use the 1/2 bath downstairs. He walked in and walked right back out: "Hey, Mom! You forgot to flush!" (In case you're wondering, I most certainly did NOT.) He walked back in, flushed, and finished his business. He didn't say another word about it. A couple minutes later I had to go. I immediately noticed he hadn't flushed. When I asked him about this he matter-of-factly said, "I just wanted you to see how it felt!"

Danielle was in a foul mood today. At one point she scratched Tyler pretty good on the temple. He begged for a bandaid, so I reluctantly stuck a bright red Dora bandaid on his forehead. (That shouldn't be too noticeable.) Tonight (when he was supposed to be sleeping) he came out of his room and said, "Mom, you did a really good job on this bandaid. I laid down to rest on it for a little while and it really helped. You put the little cushion in just the right spot. Good job."

We found a walking stick bug today. It crawled all over my arm as I let the kids examine it. The neighbor behind us came out to see what all the squealing was about (the kids' squealing, not mine). I realized how funny we must have looked. Ahhh, the things you do for kids.

Just Another "Routine" Day

Sorry this is so long. We had a full day.

We started our day by dropping off Tyler’s disposable camera to be developed. We took it to a one hour processing place - but it really takes them at least an hour and a half. Personally, I think that “and a half” is pretty important and should be included on the signage, even if it means bigger signs. I was amused because Tyler didn’t understand how he was going to get his pictures - how they would actually be presented to him. All he has ever known is the instant gratification of digital pictures. Other than pictures from a studio, he always views our pictures on a computer. (When we finally did pick them up, he found the negatives especially interesting.)

After we dropped the pictures off, we stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things. I really didn’t have much to get and was hoping I could stretch my trip out to cover the “one hour” I thought I would need for the photo processing. I was seriously doubtful I could stretch it out that extra “and a half”. I planned to utilize the play area at the grocery store so I could casually stroll through the aisles. Well, on the way into the store Danielle spied a pint size grocery cart sitting in the cart corral. It was exactly like the big grocery carts, only clearly made for little shoppers. And there was only one. After discovering that little jewel, no one would go in the play area. Doesn’t it sound cute? Two sweet little children taking turns pushing a miniature shopping cart after their mommy, occasionally placing an item or two in the basket. Think again. An argument broke out almost every time a turn was up. Whenever it was Tyler’s turn to push the cart, it suddenly became a racecar. He’d run (or power walk) down the aisle, slipping as he rounded the corners, vrooming the entire way. Danielle was much more “appropriate” with her use of the cart. She pushed it slowly and deliberately…right into my heels. “Sorry Mommy.” After the 3rd “sorry Mommy” someone had the nerve to comment about how cute they were. I smiled politely as I limped by. In my eagerness to get rid of the little shopping cart, I rushed too much and had at least 45 minutes before the pictures would be done. Since I had refrigerated items, we had to go home and make a trip back into town to pick up the pictures later.

Earlier today Tyler requested “cold cake” (Texas sheet cake for those of you on my mom’s side). We bought the missing ingredients at the store so we could make it this afternoon. Cooking with these guys is always such an adventure. We started out great. Nice and orderly. Tyler scooping flour. Danielle scooping sugar. Me getting the other ingredients together and boiling some stuff on the stove. Then it all fell apart. All at once Tyler overfilled his measuring cup by at least another cup, forming a huge flour mountain on the island, Danielle was unhappy because she couldn’t fill her cup w/enough sugar, and my stuff on the stove boiled over. When I attempted to help Danielle by pouring the sugar into her cup, I didn’t see the giant clump in the canister. The giant clump rolled out and broke apart on the island, scattering over the floor, Danielle’s chair, and Danielle. Before we could finish I had to stop and clean up the floor. By the time I was done w/that, the kids had lost interest and were attacking each other. We eventually finished making the cake and got it in the oven. As I was cleaning up the island a second time, the kids again started to attack each other. My threadbare patience couldn’t take anymore. Like a crazy lady, I rounded the corner with my hands in the air, yelling “I can’t take any more of this. Go downstairs. Now! Don’t come back up here because I’m going to go crazy!” I felt like an ogre. In case it matters, the cake turned out pretty good after all. We all enjoyed a piece before bed, and no one but me seemed to remember the insanity.

A few weeks ago my mother-in-law wrote about being encouraged at a restaurant when someone acknowledged how well-behaved the kids were being. When I first read that I thought wistfully about how nice it would be to hear that sometime. It really would be encouraging. Even if they had to stretch the truth just a little, it would be nice to hear that. We went out for dinner tonight after picking up Tyler’s pictures (to the right are some of my favorites). If anyone had attempted to encourage me by acknowledging my children’s behavior tonight, I would have fallen off my chair laughing. We went to Chipotle again tonight. (It’s a favorite because it’s not too expensive but it’s also not burgers & fries.) I just never learn my lesson. They were fine until we walked in the door. Tyler started banging on the walls, banging on his sister, poking me, etc. Danielle banged back, poked his head w/the straws, etc. It was ridiculous. I found a table, deposited our items, and took the kids to the restrooms to “straighten them out”. That worked for about 5 minutes. I got Tyler’s food all fixed up, Danielle’s all cut up, and got ready to dig into mine. Then Danielle had to go to the bathroom. NOW! We went, got back, ate for a few minutes. I got up to get more pop. As I was refilling my cup, Ron called. I spilled my pop in my attempt to hold the phone and refill my cup at the same time. I turned around from the pop station to see Tyler and Danielle, giggling, passing my burrito back and forth, each taking bites. Beyond them I saw an older couple watching them and laughing. I guess maybe it was a little funny. Our dinner continued this way until we left awhile later, our table looking as if a bag of rice had exploded beneath it.

Finally, tonight as we were winding down for the evening, I was looking at some pictures on my computer. I’m attempting to put together a picture slide show for Tyler’s birthday, so I’ve been looking through a lot of early pictures. The kids were really interested in looking at pictures from when they were babies. Danielle loves the pictures we have of Tyler “holding” her when she was tiny, so we looked at the pictures from the day she was born. They wondered why Danielle was “dirty” and why babies get food from their mommies through their belly buttons. Then Tyler asked the good question (well, one of the good questions): How does the baby get out? “How does the baby get out without cutting your legs off? Does it come out your mouth?” It was so funny, thinking about detaching my legs or spitting them out of my mouth instead, but I didn’t laugh (too much). I reminded him about parts that girls have that boys don’t have and told him that’s where the baby comes out. He thought about this for a second and then asked, “Well, where exactly is this ‘hole’?” Images of him looking for this “part” on his sister flashed through my head and clashed with the stories I’ve read that say you should answer your child’s questions simply and honestly. I did my best to be, well, vaguely specific. He thought for a second and then innocently asked, “Oh. Well, can I see it?” I'm afraid there just isn't enough $$ to cover those therapy bills.

Dam Pictures

We had a good dam day. This afternoon the kids and I met Grandpa & Grandma C at the park by the dam. We climbed up the “mountain” to look over the dam and played at the park at its base. We visited the marina at the dam and then headed over to the beach. It’s been years since I’ve been there, and the kids have never been there. It was a really really nice day!

Tyler has been so interested in photography lately. I gave him a disposable camera to try out today. He had a lot of fun taking pictures…of EVERYTHING. I’m looking forward to getting his pictures of the asphalt path across the dam, the fencing along the walkway, and the “Service Personnel Only” sign developed. (I’m sure he got some good ones in there, too.) We had fun just watching him capture the moment(s). This is the picture he took with my camera today:

What makes this even funnier to me is that this is exactly what I did every time I got a hold of a camera when I was little!

After playing at the park, we drove over to the marina to refill our water cups and eat snacks. The kids picked walnuts and then we walked down to the dock to see if they would float. The kids also had fun inspecting the lowered bird “apartments” (those giant bird houses w/several floors and openings) with Grandpa. The bird houses were being cleaned, so the kids got to look inside them and check things out, too.

After we were done at the marina, we drove over to the beach to cool off. The kids and Grandpa played in the surf and sand while Grandma & I watched. Since Grandpa was the only adult in the water playing with kids, several other kids migrated toward him. By the time we left, Grandpa was entertaining a half dozen kids.

By the time we got home tonight, we were all worn out. (Ron and I taught 17 2 year olds in church this morning, too!) We had a good day at the dam.

BTW, Ron made it safely to Chicago and was on his way to his final destination the last time I talked to him. Thankfully none of the airline problems today affected him.

No Cavities!

We started our day with a trip to the dentist. This was the first dental appointment for either kid. Tyler went first while Danielle anxiously watched. As the dentist tilted the chair back I saw Tyler take a deep breath. That was the only indication he was a little nervous. He was so brave, and he did such a good job! Of course the dentist thought he was hilarious. When he was done Danielle bravely hopped up in the chair. Tyler did such a good job with his exam that Danielle wasn’t afraid for hers. (Which is why I had him go first.) Even so, he stood beside her and patted her hand. He talked and joked with her about the spit sucker-upper thingy and even kissed her hand once. Danielle did a great job, too! Neither kid had any cavities and both left the office with sparkly teeth, new toothbrushes, and positive first experiences at the dentist.

Earlier I promised the kids we would go to the store after their appointments and pick out new toothbrushes that spin. I took them to Walmart where Danielle picked out a princess toothbrush and Tyler picked out an astronaut toothbrush. They were very excited about their new toothbrushes and their sparkly teeth (which they kept showing me).

After our trip to Walmart we were just up the street from Ron’s office, so we stopped there next to take him to lunch. We went into the office building because the kids wanted to visit his office again. Outside of his building are huge painted cement balls that are spaced across the front of the building. These have always interested the kids. As we were walking into the building today, Danielle draped herself across one of the balls and said, “I just love Daddy’s big balls.” Thankfully no one was around!

Once we got inside, we rode up the elevator with another woman. She started up conversation with the kids, telling Danielle she looked like a princess, etc. Tyler, still hyped up about his toothbrush, said he looked like an astronaut. More small talk. Then Tyler said to the lady, “Do you know what you look like?” I froze. Any number of things could come flying out of his mouth. “You look like a spaceship.” Ha ha ha. Since he had just been talking about astronauts, I think this went over ok. She laughed, too, so I don’t think she thought he was referring to her size (which thankfully was not as big as a spaceship). Nevertheless, I was relived when the doors opened.

After our visit to Daddy’s office and several trips to the water cooler, we left the building for lunch. Danielle was dancing along beside Ron on the way out. Once we passed through the doors and could again see the concrete balls, Danielle grabbed Ron’s hand and said, “Daddy, I really love your balls.”

Germ Fries and Fat, Hairy Monsters

This morning we went to the zoo with Grandma C. We had a very nice time looking at the new exhibits and listening to the monkeys yell at each other. (Not my monkeys, the real ones at the zoo. And they were actually gibbons, not monkeys.) My monkeys were actually very well behaved…until after lunch. We left the zoo and went to Wendys for lunch. We were getting ready to leave and my hands were full of our lunch trash. Suddenly Tyler knelt down on the floor, leaned forward, and picked up a French fry from the floor with his mouth. He quickly sucked it in before I had a chance to put anything down. The people sitting around us were just as disgusted as I was. On the way out of the restaurant I lectured him on the relationship between germy floors and chronic diarrhea, etc. He continued to chew his fry and smile. Once we got out the door he swallowed loudly and said, “Umm. That was a really good germ fry. It did make me pucker, though.”

Here are a couple other pictures from today, including Danielle’s “really fat monster with lots of hair”:

Our Day

We had lunch with Mamaw today. Once a month or so we’ll pick her up at work and go to McDonalds. The kids always look forward to her “Mamaw bag” of goodies. It started out as something to keep the kids occupied while waiting for their food. Now Mamaw takes great pride in packing it with fun activities and surprises for the kids. Today she forgot the bag. In a fit of creative desperation she put together a box of goodies from her office and proudly told the kids they could play office today. This was probably the best non-bag Mamaw bag. We sat in McDonalds long after our food was gone. The kids happily stamped “Credit Approved” and “August 23 2006” on computer paper, colored with highlighters, played with rubber fingers, and made “staple pin” (paper clip) necklaces. From what I remember about working in an office, that’s a pretty good representation of work life, isn’t it? ;)

This afternoon we had a DirectTv contractor over to do some work. To be kind, I’ll just say this guy looked like a redneck relative of Larry the Cable Guy. We couldn’t have the kids in the same room with him while he was working for fear someone would tell him he shouldn’t be showing his butt because it’s a private part. Anyway, he was very slow and seemed to be here forever. I went ahead and made a quick dinner because we had plans this evening. This is the conversation that occurred as I put dinner on the table:

Tyler: What are we having for dinner?

Me: Chicken strips.

Tyler: Chicken strips?

Danielle: But I don’t like chicken lips.

Cable Guy: Umm. Chicken lips are good.


Tonight Danielle was going potty and singing the word “pen*s” over and over again. (In case you’re wondering, I don’t spell out the whole word because I don’t want people to pull up my blog when they Google that word!) When she was done we had our recurring conversation about boys having them and girls not. Then we talked about who was a boy and who was a girl. She was holding a stuffed animal and asked, “Is this a boy or a girl?” Jokingly I said, “Check.” She laughed and turned the animal upside down. She did some checking and said, “It has a butt.” She paused and added, “Oh! It has a chinis.” (China-a+is=chinis) It was so cute I just had to squeeze her.

The Park

We went to the park with a friend from church and her two little girls today. (The oldest is Danielle's age.) At one point Tyler was running through a tunnel that has a grate over the top where you can stand and look down into the tunnel. He wanted me to stand over the grate and watch him. While I was up there, I heard him say: "Hey! You're not supposed to throw stones. That's not very nice!" Apparently the culprit didn't stop because Tyler continued: "My mommy is right up there, and your mommy is going to know about this pretty quick!"

The kids all had fun playing, and I was pleased that my kids didn't act like total animals. (Tyler even made some new friends.) But, my pleasure was premature. As my friend and I were walking to the cars and finishing our conversation, my children decided to have a spitting contest. They each took mouthfuls of water from their cups, chased each other around, and spit the water on each other. They raced around my friend's calm little girls and just out of my reach. You might want to know why I didn't stop this. It's not that I didn't TRY to stop it. I just can't run as fast as they can.

Other news of interest (or not):

The kids got their very own library cards yesterday. I don't know why I didn't get them their own sooner, but they were both pretty excited.

They both have their very first dental appointments on Friday. Tyler has declared he isn't going. Danielle said she's afraid the dentist will want to brush her teeth. Should be an interesting day.

Tyler has an open house tomorrow night for his preschool class. This is a new school, and I have high hopes for this year. At the very least, this school year should provide more "blog worthy" material. He starts school on Sept. 6.

Danielle got her haircut today and thinks she looks beautiful. (She does.)

Final Birthday Celebration

Mamaw, Papaw, James, Nikki, Seb, and Beth came over on Saturday to celebrate Danielle's birthday. The kids all had a good time racing through the house and playing together. Danielle especially enjoyed her "girly" presents - clothes, makeup & a princess vanity. Much to Ron's delight (ha), Tyler is enjoying the makeup, too. Here are some pictures from yesterday & today.

Danielle is modeling her Dora nightgown and sheer robe. (Note the robe. You'll see it again.)

The kids enjoyed playing with Danielle's makeup.

Danielle wore the robe around on her head today as a "princess hat".

The arms sticking out from her head just cracked me up.

This afternoon Danielle kept following Tyler around, asking him to marry her. When I asked them what they had to do to get married, Tyler said, "I just kiss her." I asked him what he had to do after he was married. He said, "Nothing. I don't have to do anything!" Hmmm...

Painting her fingernails. She picked blue for this hand, pink for the other.

Conversations & Comments by a 3 & 4 Year Old

We had some good ones today. Thought I’d share them with you.

Conversations & comments at the airport:
“What are you doing with that paper Mom? Do you pee right through it? Wow! That’s cool. Look at that! It goes right down, too!”

“Look at that big banana!”
“Those are actually brushstrokes.”
“Huh?” Exactly. A big banana would have been so much more interesting.

(All of the following was said pretty much at the same time, so I’m not sure which kid said what to separate it appropriately.)

“DAAAAADDYYYYYY! Hi, Daddy! I missed you, Daddy! Guess what! I got dressed all by myself today. Mom didn’t even have to scrunch my shirt up. What did you bring us for prizes? Guess what! We went up the loopty-loop and Mommy got dizzy but I did not get dizzy and we can go down the loopty-loop, too. Do we get to ride the escalator? Oh my gosh, that’s so cool! I really missed you, Daddy. I forgot my hat. Mommy will get my hat. Are these your friends? Where are our prizes?”

And then a few minutes later:

“Why don’t they have your suitcase Daddy? This is so stupid. I hate the airport. We should never come here again because they don’t have your suitcase. Do you have our prizes? They were in the suitcase? I hate this airport.”


Comment at the restaurant for lunch:
Ron went to use the restroom and Danielle followed. When they came back out Danielle loudly announced, “Daddy forgot to wash his hands, Mommy!” (Ron denied it.)

My conversation with Danielle this evening after going potty:
“I’m showing you my butt.”
“What did Dr. Cheryl say about showing people your bottom?”
“We are not supposed to.”
“That’s right. Why not?”
“Because some people have chinas!”

And this was the pre-bedtime conversation:
“Danielle, I’m really sorry Mom’s so grouchy.”
“Yeah, Ty.”
“Mom, you’re a buttock.”

Shots and Character

Shots & needles. I hate them. Not for me so much, but for the kids. I thought it would get easier as the kids got older, but it hasn't (sorry Leah).

I can still remember very vividly taking Tyler in to have his blood drawn when he was less than a week old. One of his newborn blood tests from the hospital came back a little off, so he had to have a more extensive work up done. In the hospital they just pricked his heal. This time they had to actually find a vein in that teeny tiny newborn arm and draw blood. It was horrible. I had to pin his little arms down while the nurse tried to find a vein. (They even put the little rubber tourniquet on his arm.) It took her several tries, and I know it had to hurt him. All I wanted to do was pick him up and comfort him, but I had to keep those matchstick arms pinned down until the deed was done. Both the nurse and I were close to tears by the time she was done. (His blood work came back ok that time.)

From that early time in Tyler's young life, I have dreaded check-ups that would include needles (such as vaccinations). I thought maybe it would get easier as the kids got older. You know, reasoning with them and such over the benefits of the vaccination and it only hurting for a second. I guess it does help that I can prepare them for it ahead of time (I think), but it's really not any easier for me. What bothers me now is that look. In that millisecond that the needle punctures their flesh, their eyes flash to mine and I suddenly feel as if I've betrayed them. Instead of protecting them (I know, vaccinations really are protecting them), I'm holding them down for someone else to cause them pain, no matter how fleeting.

Danielle had her 3 year check-up today. Apparently Ohio has added a new "highly recommended" shot for Hepatitis A. (In some states it's mandatory; In ours, just highly recommended.) So Danielle got that shot today. As our doctor was leaving so the nurse could come in and administer the shot, Tyler asked for a sucker. Our doctor said, "You can get one in a few minutes. Danielle has to get some medicine in her leg first." Well, Danielle thought that was just hilarious. Medicine in her leg? She threw her head back and laughed. Tyler did not. He immediately got very serious and said, "Mom, does Danielle have to get a shot?" No fooling this kid. Danielle stopped laughing. Tyler quickly volunteered to sit beside her and hold her hand 21 tight so it wouldn't hurt so badly. ("21" is a super huge number to him. In this instance it symbolizes an extreme amount - as tight as he possibly could.)

Tyler, looking very serious, hopped up on the table with her. We started talking and laughing about other things until the nurse walked in. When she did, all laughter halted. Danielle told the nurse that Ty was going to hold her hand. She still gets her shots in her thighs, so she laid down (with her head in Tyler's lap). Tyler grabbed her hand and held on. The nurse gave her the shot very quickly, and Danielle's eyes flashed to mine. I got "the look". Her face turned red and her lip stuck out. She was on the verge of crying. I looked up at her hand to see Tyler holding it so tightly that his hand was white. In case that was causing the red face, I pulled their hands apart and quickly sat her up. Tyler made over her "blue raindrop bandaid". He kissed her on the cheek and patted her shoulder. I got them both off the table and they trotted off down the hallway together to get a sucker. Danielle sniffled a little, but she never shed a tear. I was so proud of both of them.

Tonight when Ron called, Danielle told him about getting the shot. When Ron asked if it hurt, she said "No, Daddy. Ty hold my hand!" Tyler corrected her, "Actually, I squeezed it so the shot wouldn't hurt so bad." As I was tucking him in to bed tonight, I told him again how proud I was of him. He said, "I just didn't want Danielle to get hurt because I love her."

I guess Tyler summed up my real problem with shots & needles (and mean kids and boo-boos and illnesses of all varieties): I just don't want them to hurt, not even for a second, because I love them. When I've mentioned these feelings to Ron on other occasions, he reminds me that these hurts help our children to develop their character - character such as comforting a nervous and fearful little sister when she has to have a shot.

Rocket Land

Today I took the kids to "Rocket Land", as they call it. (There's a rocket on the sign.) Most weekdays Rocket Land offers some sort of special. This summer, Tuesday's deal includes a free game of putt putt with your paid admission to the fun gym. I would never pay for these guys to "play" putt putt, so this is a good deal for us.

This was the second time I've taken advantage of this deal and taken the kids to play putt putt. Actually, it's really not so much playing as it is taking the golf clubs for a walk. At the first hole today, both kids excitedly dropped their balls and started swinging. Danielle let me show her (once) how to hold the club and putt the ball. Tyler didn't want any instruction. He dropped his ball, pounded the ground a couple times with the putter (confusing baseball w/golf, I think) and swung. He crumpled into a heap when his ball didn't go in the little hole on the first swing. I tried to explain that very few people actually get it into the hole with one attempt and that the fun is gently hitting it until it does roll in. Whatever. He picked up his ball, and we moved on to hole #2. Danielle, straddling the ball, somehow managed to knick a piece of it as she swung her club back and forth like a wrecking ball. When it didn't make it to the hole, she marched down the green, picked up the ball, and threw it toward the hole. Meanwhile, Tyler lined himself up, tapped the ground a couple times, and eventually hit the ball. Again, he was devastated when he missed the cup. He had enough of that hole. He picked up his ball and marched on to hole #3. After throwing the ball at hole #2, Danielle had decided she'd had enough. So we carried our clubs and our balls to the rest of the holes. Occasionally Tyler would try a hole one time. Mostly we just walked the course. Once we chased some ducklings and jumped up and down on the wooden bridge. This is why free putt putt is the best putt putt.

We had fun climbing around inside the gym. There were some older kids there today, and they were playing a little rough. They were throwing balls at each other (which was against the rules, as my kids pointed out, loudly) and calling each other names. Tyler was concerned about something one of the kids was yelling. I couldn't clearly make out what the kid was saying, so I told him maybe he was yelling someone's name. As we were getting our shoes on to leave (3 hours later!) one of the kids was beside us. She hollered out "You're a nerd" to someone. Tyler's eyes got big and he said, "Mommy! Is that a nice word to say?" "No, not really." "Well, was that someone's name?" "I don't think so." "She shouldn't have said that, then." "No, probably not." So nice when my kids learn a lesson. Right. An hour later I overheard Tyler chanting "nerd" at the dinner table.

Here are my favorite one-liners from today:

Tyler: "Mommy, those spikes on your legs really hurt!" (I swear it's not really that bad.)

Tyler to Grandpa regarding his (Tyler's) dessert: "Don't even think about it, Grandpa!"

Tyler to me after yelling at him for the hundreth time to go back to bed: "You're really very grouchy tonight."

Tyler: "What do flies actually do to you when they land on you?" Not actually an amusing one-liner, but interesting. I just can't bring myself to tell him "they vomit on you".

A Little Too Realistic?

Today Grandma & Grandpa C & Uncle Ron came over to celebrate Danielle's birthday. At my suggestion, Uncle Ron bought Danielle a Barbie & Tanner set. (Tanner is Barbie's dog.) Knowing how much Danielle loves dolls and animals, that seemed like a great gift idea. Turns out it was a great gift, but I probably should have actually looked at the product before suggesting it.

Here is the description from the Toys R Us website:

Barbie doll has a dog named Tanner who is just like a real dog! Tanner is soft and fuzzy and her mouth, ears, head and tail really move! You can open Tanner dog's mouth and feed her dog biscuits. Comes with a dog bone and chew toys that Tanner can hold in her mouth, too. When Tanner has to go to the bathroom, Barbie doll cleans up with her special magnetic scooper and trash can. Posable Barbie doll included.

Did you catch that next to last sentence? "When Tanner has to go to the bathroom..." Among other things, this fuzzy dog came with little brown pellets. They go in the mouth as food, and come out a hole in the back of the dog as...well, you know! (Push the tail up & he "swallows", push the tail down and he "deposits".) Then Barbie can use her magnetic pooper scooper to pick up the pellets and throw them in her handy trash can. The trash can has a hook on the back that holds the dog food box. When Barbie deposits the poop pellets into the trash can, they roll through a hole in the can into the attached food box. Barbie can then feed Tanner his poop, er, food and start the whole process over again.

Both kids found this "eating & eliminating" process fascinating. While Danielle was busy playing with another toy, Tyler continuously made the dog eat and poop, eat and poop. At one point the neighbors wandered over a little too close to our open window (Tyler was playing on the window sill). He said, "Look! You feed this dog & the poop comes right out this hole!" Our neighbor smiled politely and hurried her little girl back to their side of the lot. Truth be told, even we adults found this toy somewhat fascinating. Too bad Barbie didn't come with little plastic grocery bags for the poo pellets (and a fly or two). Now that would be realistic.

Gassy Deodorant

We went out for cheap pizza tonight. While we were eating, Tyler was, well, in need of a bathroom. (Does it seem like my stories always start this way?!) He denied he needed to go, but he certainly smelled like he needed to go. Once we were done eating I convinced him to go to the restroom with me. He obediently sat down and went #1. He sat there for a second and said, "See, I didn't need to poop." He hopped up and pulled up his pants. I said, "Well it certainly smelled like you needed to." He continued to struggle with his shorts and said, "Oh. That's just my deodorant. Sometimes I like to wear it. It's just deodorant."

He must have grabbed it from Ron's side of the bathroom. :)

Eggs

I was peeling eggs to make potato salad for dinner tonight when Danielle wandered into the kitchen. She saw what I was doing and excitedly said, "Oh! Can I help you hatch the eggs, Mommy?" How could I refuse? So, I plopped her up onto the island, and my daughter and I hatched some eggs together for dinner.

Green Beans & Tossed Undies

For dinner tonight we had grilled pork chops, noodles, and green beans. Tyler noticed the green beans as I was placing them on the table: "AAAHHHHH! I HATE green beans!" Ron told him everyone had to try at least one green bean. This caused a mutiny. Tyler jumped from his chair, ran across the room, and down the stairs into the playroom, yelling "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" the whole way. Danielle was quick to follow his lead and ran after him shouting "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" in her girly way.

I could hear them conspiring downstairs:

"Green beans are gross."

"Yeah. I hate them, Ty. They're gross."

"Come over here and hide, Danielle. We won't eat them."

"Yeah. They're gross."

"I hate green beans."

"Yeah, Ty. I hate green beans too!"

We finally got them to the table by telling them they only had to take a bite of one green bean, not the three that Daddy had laughingly plopped on their plates. They reluctantly sat down and continued moaning about the beans. Danielle stood back up and shook her little finger in my face, complaining about those yucky beans on her plate. She sat back down as I said, "Danielle, if your rear end leaves that seat again, you're going to eat all three of those beans!" She didn't even blink but very slowly stood right back up, looking at me defiantly the whole time. It was actually pretty humorous, but I maintained my composure. Just as I was about to address her belligerence, my supportive husband burst into laughter. All was lost. I cracked up, too. It's so hard to correct behavior when you're laughing so hard you're crying.

We finally settled down and got back to the business of eating dinner. The horror of the beans was broken up by noodle mustaches and dribbled water. (Tyler held a noodle under his lip: Look Mom! A mustache. Danielle, quick to mimic, picked up two noodles and practically stuffed them up her nostrils: Look Mom! A mustache.) Eventually everyone tried at least one green bean, and no one has to have them again for breakfast in the morning.

We went for a walk after dinner and then returned to the play room for a few minutes before heading to bed. The sprinkler got the kids wet as we were coming in from our walk, so both kids stripped to their undies once we got inside. Once in the playroom, Tyler was asked to put away his Legos. He was less than agreeable and expressed himself rather vociferously. In a fit of anger, he suddenly pulled his underwear off and threw them down. Ron and I immediately started to laugh at such a strange display of anger. Realizing how goofy he was, he started to laugh, too. The attention was too much for Danielle (who had been sitting in the corner, smearing sparkly purple lip gloss on her lips). She, too, took her underwear off and threw them down. The two of them started running around and giggling. I guess it sounds kind of strange as I write it down, but it really was very funny. It also makes me think that we should really invest in some blinds.

Birthday Pictures

Here are some pictures from Danielle's birthday yesterday.

Tyler picked out a spin-pop sucker for Danielle. This one is a cat. It has a button on its paw. When you push it, the head turns and the sucker spins. He was so proud of himself, and she loved it.

She gave him a thank you hug. He enjoyed the hug but was afraid she was going to get her sucker on him.

Danielle was trying to hold up 3 fingers to show me how old she was.

Finally got it...kind of.

Tyler helped Danielle free her Barbie from the evil confines of Mattel packaging materials.

Danielle picked out from a magazine a toy cat house that came w/5 plush kittens. She carried the magazine around for days showing Ron & I that toy. We remembered and ordered it for her. She was delighted.

We also got her a little bag of "lipstick" (sparkly lip gloss). She likes to wear it around her lips. Guess Tyler liked it, too.

Sorry for the blurry photo, but this was so funny I had to share it. Ron dozed off in the chair for a second. Danielle noticed and jumped up to put her lipstick on him.

We finally had to have her put it away. She was layering it on pretty thick.

If you look closely, you can see her sparkly purple mustache.