Like Father, Like Son

Before I get into what's on my mind tonight, I wanted to report that Tyler's second day went well, too. He played basketball at recess with his friends. His classroom has Legos. His behavior stoplight was on green all day (this is good), and his new shoes were perfect for gym. (Maybe a little too perfect. Apparently they make really cool echoing noises off the gym floor that really annoy the gym teacher.) Also while he was in gym, the teacher showed them where to go, as Tyler said, "in case someone comes in and tries to kidnap a kid or kill them or something". How sad that our children have to worry about such things. When Tyler got off the bus today he was about to burst with his exciting news: "D** got sent to the principal's office for showing his BUTT in the library today! He had to sit in the office for a whole hour!" I couldn't tell if his excitement was because of the kid (not one of his favorite people), the event (saying butt is bad enough but actually showing it...), or the fact that it wasn't him in trouble (this time). Tomorrow will be a new record: 3 days of school in a row. I'm expecting the excitement to wane.

This is what I really wanted to share, though:

This afternoon after school another boy from the neighborhood came and asked if Tyler could come over and play. This boy has asked several times lately, but Ron and I have always said no. In addition to the timing just not being right, we have some concerns about Tyler hanging out with this boy in his home when we’re not present. I felt bad saying no again, so I asked him if he’d like to come play at our house instead.

Tyler’s guest wanted to play Lego Star Wars on the game cube. Last fall Ron and Tyler spent hours playing this game together. They played for a little while almost every evening for weeks. They had a lot of fun together and really bonded over it. Ron was incredibly patient with Tyler and always encouraged him. It was almost sad when they finally solved the game. Given our experience, I asked the boy if he and his dad played video games together, too. He said, “No. I play them by myself.” He paused and then added, “Sometimes my mom plays.” I know how much those evenings with Ron meant to Tyler, and I felt sad for this kid. He probably doesn’t realize what he’s missing, but I do.

Tyler and his friend attempted to play through a level. The other boy kept killing Tyler’s character or knocking him off rocks & cliffs (certainly not how Ron would have played with Tyler). Tyler was surprisingly patient with his friend and continued to lead him through the level. He was also amazingly encouraging. Tyler kept saying things like, “That’s ok, buddy.” or “Good job, buddy!” or “Keep it up, buddy.” His words and tone of voice were surprisingly kind.

When Tyler’s words finally sunk in, I stopped what I was doing and reached for the phone to call Ron. Those are the same words of kindness Ron shared with Tyler when they played. He always called him buddy. He always encouraged him on. He was never cross with him. All those evenings Ron and Tyler fooled around on the game cube were actually evenings when Ron was investing his time in his son, teaching him by example and giving him worth, whether either of them realized it or not. And now Tyler was doing the same with his friend. I'm sure it didn't matter much to his friend and Tyler probably wasn't aware of what he was doing, but it was a great insight into the wonderful character our son is developing. A wonderful character like his father. I couldn’t have been more proud of my guys.