Difficult Conversations

On Monday, a student at our high school took his own life. We live in a small town with a small school district. It's one of those towns and schools where everyone feels connected in one way or another, either through sports or school parties or the community pool or the locally owned businesses. As you can expect, it has hit the community pretty hard.

The boy lived with both parents who were involved in his life. He played baseball, was in band & choir, had lots of friends, and seemed well liked. It's hard to wrap your mind around why a child who seemed to have so much would decide his life wasn't worth living. From comments by his friends and his dad on FB, it sounds as though this boy had been dealing with depression. His parents thought they were doing enough by talking to him about it, but apparently his depression was deeper than they realized.

I'm sure houses all through our district have had dinner conversations and bedtime talks about suicide the past two days. I know we have at our house, and honestly, I never really thought a lot about having those conversations. At least not at our kids' ages. As a 40 something who is pretty content with life, I take it for granted that my kids know their problems, issues, and concerns aren't going to last forever. Thinking back to jr high and high school, those fleeting days were an eternity at the time and they felt like they would go on forever. And, of course, the world revolved around me and my issues. At least my world did, and that's really the only point of reference I had. It was good for us to have these difficult conversations with our kids.

Right now Tyler and Danielle may not understand how someone could come to a decision to end his life, but there may be a day when they do. I certainly hope not, but if that day comes, I want our words to ring in their ears: No matter how horrible a situation is, it will pass. No matter how horrible of a thing you've done, it will probably be fixable. If it's not, we'll face it together. No matter how alone you feel, you won't always feel that way. No matter how dark the night seems, day will break. You are valuable. You are loved. You have a purpose to fulfill on this earth. If the day comes and you start to feel like death is your only option, tell someone. Talk to someone - us, a friend, a teacher, a grandparent. Someone. Do not suffer alone. If we can't help, we'll find someone who can.

I can't even begin to imagine how this child's parents feel. Honestly, I can't spend much time thinking about it because the sadness is overwhelming. I hope the dinner conversations going on around town bring good to this tragedy and prevent anyone else from going through this.