This afternoon I volunteered in Tyler's class. I was responsible for helping the kids paint Christmas pictures, which they're going to use as decorations for their upcoming Christmas program. The kids were sorted into small groups and took turns rotating through my "station". When the kids at my station weren't painting, they were supposed to be coloring a picture of Santa.
All the kids in my first group (including Tyler) finished painting before it was time to change stations, so they were all coloring their santa pictures. Suddenly, one boy said, "Santa's not real." Tyler stopped coloring and looked up at him. The girl added, "He's just wearing a costume." Tyler shook his head and said, "You guys are wrong. He's real." and went back to coloring. A minute later the first boy stopped coloring again, looked at me, and said "Is Santa real?" All the coloring stopped and 3 sets of eyes were on me - including my son's.
When I was pregnant, a lady I worked with told me that when her son found out Santa wasn't real, he was furious with her for lying to him. She said he could never really trust her after that and it really affected their relationship.
I think her example is probably extreme, but I do want our kids to know they can count on us to tell them the truth. Talking about Santa has been a touchy issue for me the past two years. I want our kids to experience the awe of Christmas, the anticipation of Christmas morning, and the magic of gifts suddenly appearing/cookies disappearing - while remembering we enjoy all this because it's Jesus' birthday. But I don't want to lie to them. When they find out that Santa and all his magical cohorts aren't real, I don't want them to lump God into that category, too. After all, they can't physically see God, they can't audibly hear God, they can't physically touch God. Until their relationship with God becomes more personal, all they really have is what I've told them and what we've read to them. I need them to trust that I'm telling them the truth. And not just about God but about everything that really matters.
Ron said I'm just doing "the mom thing" and worrying too much, but tonight when Danielle closed her eyes and said "Dear Santa, please bring me a Sleeping Beauty pop-up playset" I didn't think my fear was that far off. Yet, somehow I survived the Santa revelation without distrusting my parents or disbelieving in God. Ron survived, too. Maybe I am just doing the mom thing.
I told the boy I thought he should talk to his mom about his question and winked at Tyler. Tyler smiled, picked up his crayon, and started coloring again. Then he said, "You guys are wrong. How else would all those presents get there?" Case closed. For now.
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3 comments:
Sounds like you handled it well. As the kids got older, we called it a game. And if you didn't play the game, you might not get the gifts from Santa. I think that's why "Santa" still gives the gifts at our house. And as the kids get old enough to understand the REASON for the game, the presents, the tree, etc., there's no mistaking that one is real and one is, well. . .just a game.
Great post. Your m-i-l told me about it. I'm 59 and still a believer in God, and Santa reminds me of a beneficent character in a parable.
We tell children all kinds of fantasy stories and expose them to all sorts of make-believe. I think it helps them form distinctions later in life, helps them learn to live in the real world, and enhances their discernment and compartmentalizing skills.
There is a difference in lying to decieve for evil purposes and make believe for fun. Ask any stand up comedian how much exageration is needed to evoke audience laughs. Ask any humor writer how much hyperbole is included to flip the reader's imagination over to hilarity.
As we grow, we learn to distinguish between make bleieve imaginations and lying for evil purposes.
Just my two-cents worth of candy cane thoughts about Santa ....Cathy
Wow! Close call! I've been thinking about the same things since Caleb can sort of say Santa Claus this year:) When I "found out" I was devastated, but Rob says it wasn't a big deal for him to find out. I found out without any advance warning that he might not be real. Maybe as Tyler hears hints as he goes to school, he won't have too much of a shock when he finds out for sure.
I guess for now you just have to get through December :) Santa isn't much of an issue the rest of the year.
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