The Boring Life of a Stay-at-Home-Mom

I was awakened by a tap-tap on my shoulder: “I have to go potty, Mom.” This is my alarm clock most days. Unfortunately, the snooze function never works right.

Once awake we moved downstairs, where a battle for my chair (the only piece of furniture covered in fabric and therefore not cold) ensued. Tyler won, but Danielle stationed herself at his feet and scowled at him for a full 30 minutes.

I take very short showers – 10 minutes max. Today my shower was interrupted 4 times. (Our bathroom door does not lock…yet.) Tyler interrupted me twice to show me his Lego creations. Danielle interrupted me for help putting a crown on her pony and a second time to help her find the same pony’s little white slippers. I looked, but they were not in the shower.

Reluctantly I went back downstairs after getting dressed. Our family room is nearly 300 sq ft; however, the kids were fighting over the same 1 sq ft of floor space.

After lunch & play at BK, we headed to the library. Tyler played on the computer while Danielle and I looked for books. Each time he needed me (which was approximately every 30 seconds), he yelled “MOM?” He had padded earphones on and couldn’t hear himself talk. Everyone else could, though.

As we exited the library, I held the door for a man entering. Danielle looked at him, looked to me, and said “He’s really old.” He was, but I’m pretty sure he already knew.

Next stop was the grocery store. We made a pit stop before the kids went to the play room. Usually that bathroom is empty. This time every stall filled after we entered. Everything echoes in the bathroom, including “I don’t want to go because it stinks in here.” and “I see your butt, Ty!” and “Look! I’m pinching my pen!s to stop the pee.”

On the way to the grocery, Danielle complained that her pony tails were poking her. (?) While I was loading the groceries into the van, Danielle enlisted her brother's help to remove said pony tails. I looked up to see her lean across her seat & over to Tyler, who picked out the butterflies, rubberbands, and barrettes. Not realizing I saw them, they sat in their seats and giggled, thinking they got away with something.

After putting the groceries away and reading every single book we brought home from the library, I turned the kids over to Dad and headed out to Tyler’s conferences. One year his preschool teacher told me, “Tyler’s verbal skills are remarkable! He’s so good at rationalizing his behavior!” This sums up about every conference he’s had.

And all this was before 5pm. Before Tyler was born, a coworker told me I would be so bored being home full time. It’s been 5 years and I’m still waiting for those boring days.