Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

Not the Hokey Pokey

First, I want to follow up from my last post. I am very grateful for all the comments of support, not just left here but for all the comments I received over the long weekend. It was nice to have those in the back of my mind today when the GS leader had a "follow-up" conversation with me, although we didn't have a GS meeting today. Honestly, I thought the matter was resolved, but apparently I needed an "explanation". I'm not blaming the leader - she's a volunteer who's never done this before and was speaking for the "leadership" group, but I left this conversation feeling, again, like I was the one in the wrong. Although they've decided not to sing this particular song anymore, she made it clear that no one else had a problem with it. She pulled out the lyrics and emphasized that it's just a fun song, and even if we don't sing it at our little meetings, it will probably be sung at larger gatherings. She also made it known that the lady who sang the song was terribly embarrassed and spent quite a bit of time crying about it. (I'm pretty sure this lady cries about everything, though.) I'm really not sure what I was supposed to do with this "explanation".


I came home, a bit upset, and told Ron about our conversation. The kids were bustling about in the kitchen while we were talking, but I figured they were listening in. After a few minutes Tyler came in, sat down, and said, "Mom, you did a really good job standing up for what you thought was right."

And that's what it's all about.



On to other things...


We had a very nice Thanksgiving. Our highlight was getting to spend time with Ron's family. Everyone was in town, so the kids celebrated their Christmas with each other. I think that was a minor highlight, though. They all just enjoyed playing together. Danielle especially was sad when everyone left. It was neat to see all the different personalities, yet there were so many similarities, too. I thought it was a really good day.



I was sick yesterday. Strep & the stomach flu have been going around and have hit most of the houses around us. Fortunately we've been pretty healthy. Everyone else is fine, but I had the stomach flu yesterday. I have to confess, it was kind of nice to be sick for a day. (It was just a 24 hour bug.) I got to stay in bed most of the day and didn't have to cook. It was kind of a mini vacation with just a little inconvenience to tolerate.



I had a hard time shipping the kids off to school today. It was nice to have them home for the long weekend. I think we should just take December off and they can go back in January. Maybe.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

"That" Mom

No mom wants to be "that" mom. You know, the difficult mom that everyone hopes won't show up at activities or volunteer for their committee. I try really hard to be the supportive, hard working, not-afraid-to-get-my-hands-dirty, volunteer mom, but tonight I think I became "that" mom.


Tonight was Danielle's first Daisy meeting. This is the Girl Scout program for girls in K & 1st. Danielle had a nice time. Tonight they focused on learning the GS Promise, did a related craft, learned a couple songs, and read a story. The songs are where the problem started. First, though, here are Danielle's craft illustrations of the 3 parts of the GS Promise. I love her drawings.


Here is Danielle and God.















Here is Danielle welcoming home the soldiers like we did this past summer. (She liked the guys on motorcycles who were leading the way for the buses.)















Here is Danielle tying a friend's shoe. (She was the designated "shoe tie-er" in her kindergarten class.)








The girls learned Make New Friends, which I remember learning the one short year I was in Brownies. No problem with that song. The one I had a problem with, though, was supposed to go like this:

I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot
I wear my flannel nighty in the winter when it's not
And sometimes in the springtime and sometimes in the fall
I jump into my bed with nothing on at all

That's the time when you should see me
That's the time when you should see me
That's the time when you should see me
When I jump into my bed with nothing on at all

Nosy, nosy what's it to ya?
Nosy, nosy what's it to ya?
Nosy, nosy what's it to ya?
When I jump into my bed with nothing on at all.

I didn't realize it at the time, but the lady teaching the song changed the words somewhat. Instead she sang about "playing between the sheets with nothing on at all" and "Glory, glory what's it to YOU?!". It was enough that it really sounded much worse than just reading the lyrics as they're written here - which I'm still not crazy about. When you add the disturbing body movements she included while singing it, it just seemed to be the wrong setting for such a song. Of all the fun Girl Scout songs to sing, I'm not crazy about Danielle singing about jumping around naked between the sheets, telling people they should look at her, and then asking "what's it to ya?" For the record, the other 2 moms I was sitting with cringed, too.


I really didn't want to be "that" mom, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I had to be. It's my responsibility as Danielle's mom to decide what I think is appropriate for her and to take a stand when necessary, even if no one else agrees (and I know there will be someone who reads this who thinks I'm overreacting). It's also important to raise a daughter who is not afraid to stand up for what she believes, even when no one else stands with her. So, afterward I approached the song leader and asked if we could not sing that song anymore. Guess what? I became "that" mom. The lady was dumbfounded and just stared at me. Finally she said, "It's a very traditional Girl Scout song." I replied that with so many traditional Girl Scout songs to pick from, maybe we could pick something that didn't talk about little girls being naked between the sheets or being rude. The lady just stared at me with her mouth hanging open ...for quite awhile actually. Our "conversation" ended when she finally turned around and walked away. I could have handled an adult conversation about the song, and was even willing to accept that they might still choose to sing it despite my opinion, but there was no discussion. Just pouting. And I'm the one who left feeling bad. I was "that" mom.


Later I got an email from the GS leader, stating they felt that song was a poor song choice and that they would be more careful to screen their songs in the future.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Tender Arms & Tender Hearts

We took advantage of the beautiful weather and did some yard work and such this weekend. While Ron and Danielle washed the car, I used a 6' stepladder and attempted to clean the outside windows - the transoms and the tops of the windows that don't fold in for cleaning.

There is a little warning sign on the topmost rung of stepladders, and I learned that it is actually a pretty important sign to heed. In case you're unfamiliar with the sign to which I am referring, I'll paraphrase: Do not climb here because it's too high and you will most likely fall and kill yourself. Well, I didn't kill myself, but I did fall. Oddly enough, in the millisecond I realized I was going to fall and nothing would stop that, I thought to myself, "Oh, so this is what it feels like to fall off the top of a ladder!" I don't know why, but I've often wondered how bad it would really hurt to fall from the top. (I know, I'm weird.) I'm sure it would have hurt much worse had the ladder been taller or I actually fell ONto something. As it was, I ended up with a couple bumps, a rather colorful bruise, and am a little sore today, but it certainly could have been worse.


Tonight when I was putting Tyler to bed, he bumped a tender spot on my arm when he hugged me goodnight. When I grimaced, he asked if I was ok. Then he did something that made my insignificant fall all worth it. He said, "Mom, I'm going to pray for you." And he did! He immediately closed his eyes and said a very sweet prayer for me. That might not seem like much, but that is totally out of character for Tyler. He prays nearly the exact same prayer every single night, and it's usually quite focused on himself (as I imagine the prayers of most 9 year old boys are). There have been other little moments like that lately that have made me look twice. Don't get me wrong - he still picks on his sister and is mouthy to us - but I get the feeling that God is beginning a work in his tender young heart.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

A Keeper

Danielle sits in bed and draws long after I tuck her in at night. Sometimes she goes all out and includes lots of details and colors; sometimes it's just something simple. Many times she'll put her creations on the floor beside her bed and fall asleep. Occasionally she'll draw a picture for Tyler and put it beside his door. Other times she lays her pictures in the hallway for me to look at before I go to bed. Somehow I must have missed this one last week. I found it in a stack of papers in the hallway and decided this one needed to go in the keep pile.